“Sometimes you can’t go back. Sometimes you try anyway. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes you try to go back with someone and they show you why you shouldn’t. They show you that you can’t. They show you that you’ve changed but they haven’t. They make you realise going back would be the worst possible thing you could ever do and even if you don’t realise it, you can’t go back anyway. Sometimes you go back with someone and it’s different. It’s not a good different and it’s not a bad different but it’s still painful. It’s a “this is what we are now” different. It’s having to hear about their life once a week through a phone call when you used to see them every day and hearing them tell you stories you wish you were in. Sometimes you have to accept that people can come back after they’ve left but it won’t be in the same way. Sometimes you want to go back, so badly, but you can’t. Sometimes it’s not your choice. Sometimes the other person doesn’t want to. That’s probably the worst realisation. You can hope and pray that they’ll go back and you’ll be happy with them again but they won’t change their mind. Sometimes you just can’t make them, no matter how hard you try. Sometimes you’re not allowed to go back and you’re forced to move forward. And sometimes, that isn’t always a bad thing.”
i miss your arms around me in bed. head against your chest, blanket half off, and the sound of you snoring. i could never sleep, but i feel like every second wasted in insomnia was worth it because of these little moments.
